My bottom has grown to incredible size
And wobbles about on my thunderous thighs.
My tummy has spread, my arms are all flab
My boobs, once my pride are starting to sag.
There are gaps in my mouth, where once there were teeth
I take vitamin pills at least three times a week.
When I take of my glasses I'm as blind as a bat
I'm a little bit deaf: "Sorry dear what was that"?
My husband is sweet but he mutters a bit,
When my sensible knickers just don't do the trick.
And although I've occasionally tried to be flash
Anything else brings me out in a rash!
I've applied anti - wrinkle cream that works overnight
And yet every morning, I still look a fright.
Oh what is the point of applying this goo?
When sex appeal sounds like a charity do?
The veins in my legs simply won't go away
My ankles get thicker with each passing day.
If life starts at forty then please tell me why
It's on the way out when you reach forty - five?!
My chins grown a double, the jaw line has gone,
My hairs turning grey...do I need to go on?
But there's just one thing, that can sweeten this curse,
My best friend from school - looks a jolly sight worse!
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